new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
