You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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