He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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