how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize