Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
