do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
