just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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