I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
