i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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