I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
