Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
