I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
