we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
