What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize