It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just google imaged poop.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
