i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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