she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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