I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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