Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
