Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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