so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize