is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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