I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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