The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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