Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night