I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it