Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
id be glad to
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me