Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
