hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
