Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He felt like a one man threesome
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
