If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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