just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
