really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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