I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
