1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
