Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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