Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize