Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
