I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
