Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize