hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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