Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
