I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
