I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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