it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just found puke in my bra..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
