I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
