Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
