I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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