i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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