Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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