If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
