watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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