just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
