if you like me you must not know who I am
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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