dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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