i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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