I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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