I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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