I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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