the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
