So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
