my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
